Fix This - 12.1.24

Little mistakes in a screenplay don't seem like a big deal, but they add up. Do everything you can to eliminate them from your script.

Take a look at the scene below. What changes would you make?

The first error is small and nit-picky, but once you know how to do it correctly, you’ll never make this mistake again. See that ellipses between “I feel” and “very content”? It’s missing a space. After you type dot-dot-dot, be sure to put a space before the next word.

Moving on to the next issue. The script says, “Julie-Ann in silhouette.” Lighting directions are the director's job, not the screenwriter’s. If you’ve included details about lighting or camera angles, cut them.

Plus, the reveal feels more dramatic when it’s written like this…

Let’s keep going… The next bump in the road is the line, “Naveen’s eyes shoot open.” This is a payoff without a proper setup. Maybe the reader assumed Naveen’s eyes were closed when he was breathing deeply, but there’s an equally good chance they did not.

If you want Naveen’s eyes to shoot open, you have to first tell us they’re closed. It’s easy to incorporate that detail into the initial scene description like this…

Last, but not least, make sure all the details in your script are perfectly clear. In the last line, “bean bag” leaves room for interpretation. Did she pull a small bean bag out of her pocket? Or did she pull a bean bag chair up next to him? In this case, it was the latter.

Did you have other ideas for improving this scene? We’d love to hear them!

And if you want help getting your script in shape, send it to us for professional script notes. We’ll help you identify what’s working and what needs work to take your screenplay to the next level.