Fix This - 9.15.24

As a reader reads your screenplay, they create an image in their head of what’s happening. One word at a time. Your goal is to make that picture as clear as possible (without going overboard on unnecessary detail). There’s a common mistake we see in client scripts. Can you spot it in the example? 

At first glance, this line may seem fine, but there’s actually a problem.

Remember, a really great way to confuse the reader is to put the order of your images… out of order.

The first thing we read is "Violet takes her hand from Hank's mouth." That creates a picture in the reader's mind. Unfortunately, it’s in the wrong place. 

"Bruce goes around the corner." means the coast is clear for Violet... 

But, by the time Bruce is gone, we’ve already pictured her taking her hand off Hank's mouth. A better way to write this would be…

This happens first. After that, this happens. Keeping the order of events clear makes for a much smoother read. 

To learn how to avoid common pitfalls in your screenplay, sign up for Screenwriting Essentials. We’ll teach you what you need to know to write a professional-grade script.