Fix This - 6.23.24

This one is for screenwriters and playwrights (but we encourage you fiction writers to see if you can figure out the answer as well). 

Read the script excerpt below. There are a lot of little tweaks you could make to improve the writing, but can you identify the big change that needs to be made?

The number one problem in the except above is the line, “Omar thinks he recognizes him from the race track.”

Why?

Because this isn’t a novel, the writer shouldn’t include details about what’s going on in Omar’s head. An audience watching the movie would have no idea what Omar is thinking. Everything in a screenplay must be visibly onscreen or said aloud in the dialogue.

There are a few ways to fix this problem. The first option is to give Omar a line that tells the audience what he’s thinking…

Another option is to use a flashback to show us what is Omar is remembering…

Look at your script and make sure everything you’ve written can be seen on screen or heard in the dialogue.

For more step-by-step guidance on how to write a standout screenplay, sign up for our online Screenwriting Essentials course.