Fix This - 10.13.24

When you’re writing a screenplay, you want the person reading it to be able to visualize what’s happening in each scene. That means giving them enough details for the action and emotion to be clear.

There’s a tendency, however, for new screenwriters to want to overdo it. They want to write the scene exactly as they see it in their heads, which leads to way too much detail. 

Take a look at the excerpt. How much can you cut?

We can see the appeal of all this scene description. This is exactly how the writer envisions Otto behaving, and they have included all of it in their script.

But, do they really need it? They do not.

There is a much tighter way to describe the same thing…

We know some of you will disagree with this rewrite.

“But wait,” you’ll say, “what about the advice to show, not tell?!” All that description was showing the reader how Otto feels, now you’re telling them.

Remember, the screenplay is a blueprint, not the final product. It’s the actor’s job to show us how Otto feels. Your job is to give the actors the major action and emotion of the scene so they can bring it to life. You want to avoid micromanaging your actors in the writing. It’s frustrating for the talent and often hinders their performance.

It also slows the read unnecessarily. The main thing is for the reader to "get it" and move on. Tell them enough to absorb the idea and keep reading. "He fidgets nervously" tells plenty. Let the reader fill in the blanks. If it's crucial, put it in. Otherwise, no.

Plus, by cutting all those lines, you free up space in your script you can use for something that matters to the story. Win-win.

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