Fix This - 8.4.24

Good screenwriting is tricky business. You only have 110 pages to tell an entire story, so you have to write sentences that are clear, concise, and compelling. You want to give the reader a vivid picture of what’s happening, but you can’t take up a lot of space going into unnecessary detail. Quite the balancing act. 

As you work on developing your writing style, focus first on clarity. Search your script for places where the writing is ambiguous and strive to make it impossible to misunderstand. Always ask, “Would an actor or director know exactly what this means?”

Once your writing is clear, you can work on trimming unnecessary words and developing your distinct style. 

Take a look at the excerpt below and see if you can spot the part that can be made more clear…

If you’re having trouble finding the problem, look at every sentence and ask if an actor would know precisely how to bring it to life.

Ready for the answer?

The sentence in this excerpt that needs clarification is, “She seems happy.”

“Seems” means Valeria could seem happy and be happy… OR she could seem happy and actually be unhappy. How is the actor supposed to know which one is correct?

Read the two updated versions below, and see how it completely changes the scene to replace “seems” with how the character really feels.

Version one…

Version two…

See what a difference it makes?

Using “seems” is a very common mistake because the writing feels clear to the writer, but there’s ambiguity for the actor. Search your script for the words “seem” and “seems” to see if there’s anywhere you should replace them with something better.

To learn more about writing clear, concise and compelling sentences, sign up for our online Screenwriting Essentials course. In ten lessons, we’ll teach you our proven method for developing and writing a professional-grade script.